plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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