I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
