Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
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