It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
