Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
