what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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