it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
