May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
where does the pee come out of this thing
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
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