Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
