I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
