After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
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