I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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