Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Randomize
