Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
