I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
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