if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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