Kiss
Puke
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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