I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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