can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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