It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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