so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
