Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
