What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
