So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
