If that was your dad, he is hot
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I need a beard to bite.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize