The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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