I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Randomize
