We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
