the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
