I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
