Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize