I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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