Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
