I like to think it a success when the cops are called
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
