Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
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