as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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