Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
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