We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
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