I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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