Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
