Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Randomize
