nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize
