5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
