The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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