we made out on top of his cat.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
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