My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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