week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
