her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
The police scanner is talking about you again....
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
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