This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize
