i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize