The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Randomize
