Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
