Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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