omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
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