Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
