My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I checked into jail on foursquare
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
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