a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
