Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
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