her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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