he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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