He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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