Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
