totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
you inspire me to be a worse person
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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